Please don't eat me.

chubbythecorgi:

Who dares wake me from my slumber??

Okay good good. I promise I'll make it up to you. *walks slowly* I can hobble there. Heh. *kisses his cheek* I'm glad I made it back.

I’m still gonna be mad at ya, but right now let’s just get your gears greased so ya don’t croak again. *Regardless of whether Perv denied it or not, he wrapped an arm around his best friend’s side to keep him up, blushing slightly from the kiss* Ah, I’m glad you made it back too. And I’m sure I’m not the only one~

*He arrives at Pan's house only two minutes later, looking really weak. He knocks on the door quickly. Once Pan opens he throws himself on him and hugs him* Oh Pan. I'm so glad to see you. *tight hold, almost scared* I'm sorry for being so quick. I would get here faster if I turned, so I did and I had to stop talking. But yeah, you're the only one who agreed no one else wanted to. That's what I get for being nice. *growls* Anyway, I'll explain it all later. I don't want to die right now, please.

W-Whoa, u-uh, it’s fine, it’s fine. *Holding Perv in return, he assists the other inside and shuts the door with his shoe* Ok ok, I promise I won’t let ya die again….. Luckily I sent Rave out shopping, so we shouldn’t be bothered for a couple hours. *Not the best way to set the mood, but he was still catching up mentally, and this was a startlingly new development* Uh, need help to the bedroom, or do ya think you can hobble there….? 

Yeah he's completely fine with it. That's why I'm out here. No one else wanted to fuck and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather sleep with. I promise to tell you after if you out out right now. *he wasn't the nicest of talkers so he didn't word it quite right.* Im almost there. *hangs up*

Out out? *What did that mean?* Wait, ya mean out of all your friends and aquaintences, I’m the only one that actually said yes to hel- *Stops short when the line goes dead, then tosses his phone aside and sits back, hands rubbing his face in mild frustration. This was so sudden, he didn’t even get time to be mad for being given a scare like that, or relief that Perv was actually alive. The little headache in his head got worse as he overthought this new development* Hrm……

I'm on my way. *still on the phone* Look man it's not like I meant to die, scare everyone, and come back! I'll explain later. But... I need to ask you a favor for when I get there. *loosens his tie as he runs towards Pan's house* I need your energy.

I know I know, but still…. *Sighs to try and withold the blubber that was threatening to creep in*

Y-You need my energy? *Crap, should he accept? Did Spy say it would be fine? Would this ruin his friendship with him? Now he was panicking*

Is Kiddo ok with this? More willing to allow it this time around? I-If so….. I’ll give ya all the energy ya need… *He sounded like he was making a contract with a demon or something* But you need to tell me what happened either before if we have time, or after if it’s more convenient…….

Pan, please don't hang up on me. It's me. It's Perv. Yeah, I died. I woke up at my funeral. It's a lot of shit. I'll explain it all if you want but I need to know if you're at your house or not so I can come over. I need to see you. I also need to fuck you but that's another story.

P-Perv……? It’s really you?*Almost drops the phone* Y-You’re alive?! But how?! Wait wait, just tell me when you come over, I’m at home! Oh, Thank fuck you’re alive…. *hunches over, head in his free hand and elbow propped on one knee* I-I can’t even yell at you right now for scaring everyone, I’m so relieved….

*Calls him* Come on come on pick up.

*Phone rings*

……

………

……

…. H-Hello…..? If this is some sort of sick prank, calling me from my dead friends number, I’m not interested……

Pan! Mail for you!

I’m right here ya know. *opens the letter* ……… Oh no…… N-No……

What? What is it? *Snatches the letter and glances it over* Oh shit….. Pan, it’s today! You’re gonna be late!

………….

Fucking come on! *Drags him out the door*

Pan! Mail for you!

I’m right here ya know. *opens the letter* ……… Oh no…… N-No……

What? What is it? *Snatches the letter and glances it over* Oh shit….. Pan, it’s today! You’re gonna be late!

………….

Fucking come on! *Drags him out the door*

[Txt] alright, alright. I'll make the call this instant.

[TXT]: Thank you Kiddo, thank you so much for coming back. And I’m sorry for being so awful to you like I was.

[TXT]: You don’t deserve it, you’re under pressure too. 

[Txt] Panny you are a dear friend to keep and William, you are not worthless to us no matter what. We love you.

[TXT]: I know. 

[TXT]: But this isn’t about me right now. William is our main focus. We can sort out my stupidity later. Just focus on contacting Perv or one of the maids and let them know you’re heading their way so Perv can get a heads up. 

Butter